


we were liars (with the world at our feet)

by solikerez



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Reylo - Freeform, kylo never answers his messages anyway, kylo ren keeps all of the transmissons he got from his parents it's canon fite me, rey is tired of luke acting smug, tired kylo is tired, we all know those transmissions are just shouts into the void
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:44:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7873006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solikerez/pseuds/solikerez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Transmission received. </p><p>I think I could know you, one day.</p><p>Transmission ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we were liars (with the world at our feet)

**Transmission received.**

_Ben? Are you there? Of course, this boy, I told you he wouldn’t pick up, Leia, what with all that Force-y nonsense he’s got going on no- Hey, that hurt! Anyway, if you’re not picking up now, you’ll probably get this too late but… We can’t make it to visit you like I said, there’s an important deal about to go through. And your mother has a Senate meeting that came up out of the blue. You know how those people are. So, uh, maybe a rain check, kid? We’ll get Chewie out there and everything. You probably won’t mind much that we’re not coming- I mean what twenty-three year old wants to sling back a glass of Corellian whiskey with their father? I never did, that’s for sure. But we’ll see you soon, Ben, I promise. Now pick up the kriffing transmission next time, I feel like a complete moof-milker talking to this damn machine!_

**Transmission ended.**

**Do you want to delete this message?**

**Are you sure?**

**Transmission saved.**

 

* * *

  
He thinks the silence suits him just fine.

Here, surrounded by eight dark walls and no windows, there is silence, and in silence there is clarity, however fleeting. But it is just that, _fleeting_ , because it only takes a moment for it all to come crashing back to him, his ghosts pounding at the wall he throws up against them in his mind. He stands up. Meditation never worked for him, not even in the days before.

Oh, but he had lied through his teeth back then. _Yes Master, the meditation is helping, I can hardly hear the voices anymore._ Some naive part of himself wanted to believe the lies he spun like threads, weaving together some semblance of normalcy during his childhood. But when he became an adult, he put an end to those childish ways. The peace he seeked had been a lie, for how could there possibly be serenity within a storm?

He is a storm, and always will be, and there is no peace for him. It is the only truth he knows, and he has come to accept it.

It is late now, much later than it had been when he started. The dark rings tug tiredly at the corners of his eyes. Kylo Ren takes his leave from the empty room full of all his ghosts.

He does not want to surrender to sleep and be left alone with his mind again, but his body is too weak to heed his commands.

He sleeps.

 

* * *

 

She wakes.

She does not want to get up just yet, for the sun feels too bright in the window, but she is still the sun-scorched child from Jakku, and the sun still manages to pull her in, like a past she can’t escape.

She takes the steps two at a time to reach the cliff she has come to know so well, from many hours of meditation and forms and dueling. She meditates to scrub her gritty childhood from her mind, but she can’t keep his name from floating out from the back of her head, the phantom bathed in black.

Kylo Ren.

_Ben._

Han had shouted that name once, the name of his son, but his son was gone, bound and gagged and buried under the layers of Kylo Ren. She watched Kylo Ren drive his lightsaber right through the heart, and sometimes she feels the pain so deeply that it feels like she too was killed in that moment.

Kylo Ren is a monster. But the man beneath the mask, the one she saw in the darkest corners of his mind, was not, and that terrifies her most of all. It’s best to push that thought to the side and let it simmer. She stands up. Meditation never worked for her anyway.

Luke is asking how her meditation went, and _oh_ , how she lies through her teeth. She can see it in his eyes that he knows she is bluffing, but he says nothing. He always says nothing.

Rey takes her leave from Luke and his penetrating stare, in favor of the rocky shore, where the earth meets the sighing sea.

Here, with the ocean rising to meet her eyes on all sides, there is silence, and in silence there is clarity. And in clarity, she thinks of him. She thinks of the wild look in his eyes as he found her in the forest on Starkiller, and the way she hasn’t found a night of good rest since.

In silence, he burns bright in her mind, and she wants nothing more than to return to the busyness of D'Qar, where even the nights are filled with hushed whispers of fledgling plans being laid. At least there, where silence has no place, she can try to escape her mind and his face which is branded onto the front of it.

She thinks the silence will kill her one day.


End file.
